A blast from the past

So I was able to recover my previous blogs and decided to post them into my NEW blogging page. I like having things in once place and I figured this was a great time for a new start.


However, I was an avid blogger back then so there are ALOT of them. Make sure you have a cup of coffee to get you through them all!



3 weeks and finally some relief
Sep. 1st, 2006 12:28 pm mood: relieved
Noah was 3 weeks old yesterday and he rang in his "birthday" with some relief for mommy.....Because for the past few days Noah has been quite fussy. He throws his hands all over the place when he eats, arches his back and tenses up. He also threw up on me Monday, and we are not talking alittle bit of spit up, it was about 3 or 4 ounces all over the place-thank god Mike was home to help me clean it up. He screams his head off like he is hungry and then when I go to give him food he will suck on the bottle for what seems like forever and only eat an ounce which is very unusual for him because normally he will eat a whole 4 ounces in one shot. He also hasnt been sleeping well at all, like 1 hour, 2 of I am lucky.

He hates to be flat on his back but I wont put him on his belly unless he is on my chest. And when he is inthe position he falls asleep right away but that makes me uncomfortable and I really cant sleep well with him on top of me. I didnt know if all babies are like this or somethign was wrong but I had a feeling somehtign was bothering him because he was acting different. I called the doc yesterday and he said that he probaly has an acid reflux and that I should make sure he is not laying down when I feed him and that I could give him Mylanta (I thought that was weird but if it works I am all for it) Plus he will sleep in his boppy for hours but not flat on his back so the Doc said I could try and put that in his crib and let him sleep like that. Well last night we let him sleep in the boppy and he slept from 11pm to 5am!! I couldnt belive it. I woke up at 3am because I didnt hear him and I went to make sure he was ok and he was fast asleep. Then I put him back down at 6:30 or 7 and he slept till 9:30. I hope this solves the probalem. Plus he didnt reallt sleep yesterday so he was probaly so tired. I am just happy I got a good nights sleep.These past couple days have been rough with him screaming every 2 seconds it felt like. I thought I was going to loose my mind because he has been a really good baby (temperment wise) so far. I can see how some women loose it with their kids. There were times when I felt like throwing him out the window because he just wouldnt stop, lol, but I talked to other parents and they said they also felt that way at one time or another so I know its normal (Just so everyone knows I would never actualyl do that, but the thoughts are there sometimes)Hopefully he will be sleeping better from now on:)







Its gone!!
Aug. 28th, 2006 02:15 pm
Noahs belly button fell off today!! Now he can finally have a normal bath :)




6 hours
Aug. 28th, 2006 02:11 pmmood: refreshed
Noah slept for 6 hours last night, I couldnt belive it! I actually got up quite a fe times because he wasnt crying and I went to make sure he was still breathing. Everytime I went over to him I got nervous but I guess that is normal for all mothers.I only wish I got really good sleep fro six hours. It is so hard to sleep because of the baby and the fact that he doesnt have a schedule yet, you would think that he is sleeping I would be too......not true. Between being nervous about not hearing him, my 2 stupid fucking cats playing all night, running up and down the hallway and clawing at the screen, and mikes alarm clock going off for 2 hours as he continues to hit snooze I didnt get the best sleep but I was definalty better then it has been. Its just so frusstrating, all I want is peace and quite (thats not going to happen for years though, lol)I went to bed at 8:30 and Mike took care of him. I told him to wake me at 12 and I would get up with him. He got m e up at 12:30, I changed Noah, gave him a bottle and layed him in his boppy where he slept from 1:30 to 7:30!!I hope I have another night like that tonight:)




Noah is 2 weeks today
Aug. 24th, 2006 04:36 pm
I cant believe Noah is already 2 weeks old. I can believe how times flies. Everyday he is changing more and more, not only looks wise but hios personality is coming out more and more as well. He is so cute!He had his 2 week doctor visit today and he is doing so well. The little chunker gained one pound in 2 weks and now weighs 9lbs 9 oz and is 20 1/2 inches long. The doc said he is a healthy little boy and is doing really good. He has some dry skin and diaper rash but that is all normal. His jaundice has also gotten alot better so I am was glad to hear that. He goes back in October for his 2 month check up and has to get his first series of shots...they have to give him 5!! I am so scared for him, he is going to be in so much pain. The doc told he to give him some tylneno befor we come to help with the pain. Other then that he is eating great (obviosly sicne he is gainng weight) and is sleepin about 2 hours, but last night he slept for 4 in a row...I was so happy! I get nervous though when I dont here him cry for a while and make sure he si still breathing, but that is all normal as well from what I am told.




Challenges of being a new mommy
Aug. 23rd, 2006 03:28 pmmood: frustrated
So my little man is going to 2 weeks old tomorrow, boy how times flies. I have been around small kids before but never really relaized how challenging being a new mom would be. I love my son to death but sometimes it is difficult to enjoy him because he is either screaming, or I am exhausted and sleep deprived, or I am trying to do everyhitng else I need to do while taking care of him. Everyone says "sleep when the baby sleeps" yeah well that sounds good in theory but it is not always feasible. He usually sleeps for about 2 hours (not very long) So I could either sleep (however it takes me a half hour to fall alseep so an hour and a half sometimes does more harm then good because I am grogy when I wake up) or I can do everyhiing else I need to do like clean his bottles, brush my teeth, shower, eat, go to the bathroom, do laundry, clean up after him, pay bills, make some phone calls, and by the time I know it he is waking up. I know he is only going to be this little for a short time and I am trying to enjoy it, but it gets frustrating and overwhelming. I know its not going to last forever and before we know it he will be sleeping through the night, but in the meantime its freaking rough.Plus it seems like I can be on the phone forever sitting right next to him and it doesnt phase him in the least. The minute I sit down to relax he starts crying, so it is defiantly frustraing.





A follow up
Aug. 21st, 2006 03:23 pm
So I had an appointment with a psychiatrist on saturday to talk about my postpartum depression/blues. I really didnt get to do too much talked in depth about things but I did give her an idea of where I was coming from . She said that she was going to put me back on paxil seeing as I took it before I was pregnant and it helped me with things. I have only been on it for a coule days but things seem to be alittle better, I havent cried at all I dont think, and the other night I actually had an appetite. n Last night I really didnt want to eat but I guess it will get better everyday.




Postpartum Blues
Aug. 17th, 2006 04:24 pmmood: sad
So I finally have free momet to write some of my thoughts. The baby is taking yet another nap, I have a feeling thisniht is going to be rough. He been sleeping off and on for most of the day. I hve been so stressed and sad lately. I guess I have what they call the postpartum blues. All I do is cry, over the fact that the delivery wasnt exactally what I had hoped because after he was born they took him to clean him, then mike left to go tell the family how I was, I was bleeding alot so they had to keep me and I couldnt see everyone right away, I felt alll alone: no Mike and no Baby, my mom wasnt there when I got back to my room, I didnt think I had stretch marks but I do, I feel ugly and disfugured and I will never get back to my normal size and shape, I am exhausted because I have been getting up with him all by myself because mike is going in so early I dont want him to have to get up with the baby at 3 then have to get ready for work at 4. I also cry because I feel like me and Mike are never going to have time for eachother again and we are going to lose our little things that we have with eachother. Im scared things wont be the same now that we have Noah and I know they wont be because now we have a little baby to take care of, but I just have to think positive and know that our relationship will just be different but get better.He really is anamazing person. He has been dealing with me crying all the time ( I am sure it must get frustratng) because I cry about the same stuff and even though he makes sense when he tells me things like I am too hard on myself and He loves me just the way I am, I cant help but feel sad and defianlty over-whelmed. I am trying to stay in the day because I knwo these years go by so quick but I cant hekp but think about how I am ging to deal with everthign. I guess I feel like I am doing this alone ( and I feel like such an ass for even thinking that because he is so excited to be a daddy and doing everyitng he can to make things good for al of us) but the fact that I dont see him during the day and then when I do I am exhausted, or he is exhausted because he has worked 12 hours and recently started a second job to help with the bills. Mike just got home so I am going to spend some time with hime before he goes to his second job.




Baby story is such crap
Aug. 15th, 2006 11:55 am
I was watching it yesterday and there was this woman who was having her 5th kid (she already had 4 girls and this one was a boy). They showed the doc doing somehtng to her and she was cry in pain and begging him to stop. I felt so bad for her because I was just in the position only 5 days ago. Then they gave her the epidural and told her to push. She looked so calm and mellow like nothing phased her anymore. It looked so easy. They counted, she pushed and baby was there.Do they ever show what a natural childbirth is like? Its no freaking picnic thats for sure. I wanted to go with the epidural but unfortuanlty by the time they were ready to give it to me I was ready to push and it was too late. Even though it hurt like a bitch, if given the chance to do it with the epi I dont think I would. I really got to "experiance" every aspect of childbirth and I am grateful for that.




Noahs first visit to the doctor
Aug. 14th, 2006 11:29 am
So today was the first time I was out and about with Noah. We had his doctors appointment at 9:45 this morning and my dad came by to drive me there seeing as they told me not to drive. He was so good and didnt cry at all (well except for being hungry) but he really is a good baby. He gained 7oz since he left the hospital (he was 8lbs 2oz) and now he is 8lbs 9oz. I spoke to the doc about my concerns with breastfeeding and that I was having dificulty. He told me that I can do both- give him the breast and then top it off with formula. It made me feel less stresed so I think I might give that a try and see how it goes. The doc also said he has a mild case of jaundice and they sent me over to the hospital to have his billy-ruben (sp?) checked. They had to prick his heel to draw blood and I felt so bad for him because he was screaming his head off after they did it - poor little guy. It seemed like he cried forever and ever. After that he passed out and slept for 4 1/2 hours! I wish he would sleep that long at night.He seems like such a calm and mellow baby. I hope this is how is personalit is. I mean I amsure he will have his moments but over all he has been great.




Noahs Arrival
Aug. 10th, 2006 07:18 pmmood: excited
Noah Wolfgang Adams was born August 10, 2006 at 8:17am, weighed 8lbs 12 oz and was 20in.Tues my mom called and said she was coming up. She had this strange feeling that I was going to have the baby that night. She got to my house at about 5 and the three of us ate dinner. After dinner we got cleaned up and Mike and I went for a walk at the track. I had a strange feeling I was going to have the baby as well because I was crampy and had a heavy discharge (I figured it was my mucus plug)At about 7:30 I started having contractions but didnt realize thats what they were until later. I didnt tell Mike because I didnt want to make him anxiuos and not be able to sleep, especially since it was his second day at a new job and had to wake up at 4 am.At 10 I went to the bathroom and noticed some blood (which was the bloody show they told me about) and said to myself " I think this might be it" At 10:30 I woke up to go to the bathroom and on the way there my water broke. It was strange though because I thought more would have come out so I thought maybe I peed myself. After 10 mins standing in the bathroom cofused, i went to wake up Mike and told him what happeend. Then I woke up my mom, and then I called the Doctor who told me to get over to the hospital.It was a little nutty getting out of the house but we made it over to L&D at around 11 and they put us in the triage room to make sure my water really did break and hook me up to a monitor. I guesss because of the full moon everyone was going into labor so there were no rooms available and we had to stay in the awful, uncomfortable room way past our welcome there. Dad and Gina meet us there and Mikes mom was on her way down from Albany. They checked me and I was 3cm and defianlty having contractions. We walked around and the pain was just getting worse. We finally told the nurse to call the doula because my pain was getting so bad. I really didnt want to have the epiduraq because of all the side effects so that is my we opted for the doula. Well by the time she got there I was in so much pain all I wanted were the drugs. She came in and right away started coaching me through contractions and it was amazing how much better it felt and the pain didnt seem all that bad after all.Finally after 3 or 4 hours hours a room opened and they moved us into one across the hall. I got in the hot tub which was great and Hanise continuned to help me though the contractions. I was tensing up when they came, trying to fight them and she told me just to relax and focus on her and it really worked.At this point I had been up since 7 the day before and was pysically and emtionally shot. My body was so tired I didnt think I could do it anymore because every contractions takes so much out of you. Plus I was throwing up and felt horribly sick. She suggested that I have the epidural because she thought by the time I had to push I would have absolutley nothing left in me. So I asked for the epi. The started my IV to get me ready for the shot and then decided to try and give me something to help me sleep and take away from the pain. It was supposed to make me feel like I had too much to drink. It did help and I rested for a bit (Mike slept for a half hour also. He was so tired and I felt so bad because I at least had the pain to keep me awake but he was just shot) Then it started to wear off and they gave me more but the contractions were getting worse and it wasnt helping. "I want the fucking drugs" I remember saying and they came in to check me. I was 7-8cm and said it might be too late and I should try and push. I did and it didnt help.They were coming so strong I wanted to die. I had this incredible urge to push but they told me not to. Not as easy as it sounds. It feels like you have to poop out this bowling ball and you have to fight the urge because it will tear you up. I leaned over the bed and felt the one of the worse pains in my life. Then they check me again and I was 9 1/2....time to push. I think I pushed for 13 mns but it felt like an eternity. His little head just didnt want to come out. I was pulling so hard on Mike I thought I was going to break him. Finally his head came out and he looked like a little brown alien, lol. They put him on top of me and let Mike cut the cord. It was so amazing and he was so perfect. They took him to clean him up and fixed me up. I didnt have to have an episiotomy but I did have one tear so they fixed me.I couldnt belive our little boy was finally here and so perfect. Mike was amazing during the whole process and I dont think I could have made it through without him.After 3 hours or so they fianlly let me into my postpartum room because I was bleeding alot. I was so emotional and drugged up, all I wanted to do was see my family. Everyhitng after that was kind of a blur from the drugs, extense workout I just had and lack of sleep.I love him so much and he is so perfect.Mike really is my rock because without him I dont know what I would do. He helps keep me sane when I thinK I am going to crack and is such a great support to me. He is going to make an amazing daddy. I love my two boys so much.




40 weeks and 1 day and still no Noah
Aug. 7th, 2006 11:57 ammood: anxious
So I had the doc appointment this morning and he is still not ready so they set me up to be induced next mon, so I will definalty have a baby by then!My hospital is weird though, they are going to call me mon morning to tell me a time, how strange is that? I would be so pissed if they told me to come in at 10pm!!I hope he comes before then though, a week seems so long to wait. Plus I started my maternity leave today (which I didnt want to but Mike really wanted me to stay home) So I am going to be so bored!!!




Today is my due date.....
Aug. 6th, 2006 06:33 pmmood: disappointed
and no baby yet :( I have a doc appointment tomorrow morning and they are going to see if they need to induce me.I think because we are so anxious about it, it is causing Noah not to come. Everyone says it happens when you keast expect it, but how can I not think about it?I have no cramps, contractions, nothing!!!




3 More days till Noah!!
Aug. 3rd, 2006 07:55 am
So I had my close to final appointment last night ( I am 39 weeks and 4 days) and have gained 3 pounds since last week...is that possible? So now I weigh 179...this baby better come soon before I get any bigger! The doc checked my cervix and said I was almost at 3 cm so he tried to stretch me to a full 3 and that hurt like a BITCH, Im scared to death of what labor is going to be like now. I wasnt nervouse at all about the whole delivery process before but now I am pretty scared. He said he was trying to help the contractions come quicker by doing that and that I might experiance some bleeding and/or cramping but nothing...no bleeding and no contractions. We even went walking last night at the track to help it along. Its weird because last time I went he wasnt that rough and I bleed.So seeing as I am due this Sunday, if I dont have the baby over the weekend I have to go back in on Monday so they can check me again and give me a stress test, which from what they said is just hooking me up to the monitor to check on the baby. Then I guess we will talk about inducing me depending on how I have pregressed over the weekend.Mike is so cute though, he is alwasy asking me how I feel and is super excited about the baby, we both are and cant wait for him to be here already. He was supposed to start this job in Hartford tonight, working part time at a radio station from midnight till 4am but he is going to wait till i have the baby, just in case I go into labor and he is not here. Hartford is an hour away, plus he would have to wait for someone to come in an relive him before he could go. He didnt seem all that excited abotu the baby before (I guess because he is a guy and didnt fully grasp the concept of us having a baby) but latley he is so much more helpful and attentive and concerned, I love him so much and am so happy we are starting our little family.I just hope my wate doesnt brek while I am at work today because I am wearing khakis and the whol world would see that I peed my pants, lol




Wolfie it is!!!
Jul. 31st, 2006 03:23 pm
So last week Mike and I were confused on what middle name to have for the baby...he wanted Tater and I wanted Wolfgang.We were origianlly going to go with Anthony Michael for the middle name (Anthony after my dad and Michael after the babys daddy) but wanted to make it more unique (he will probaly hate us when he is older, lol) So we finally made a descion and are going to go with Wolfgang. My dad was so happy, no he has his little wolfie:)So its Noah Wolfgang Adams, I think it had a nice ring to it:)




A little motherly advice
Jul. 28th, 2006 09:14 am
So I just spoke to my mom a;ittle while ago and now I feel bad. The other day we were talking about how to put a baby down to sleep and she said you never want to put them on the back its always their stomach because if they throw up they can choke. I disagreed with her because of all the material I have read about SIDS which says you want to put a baby to sleep on the back. Then today she told she spoke to my aunt who was shocked to hear the thing about the back as well. I told my mother that sicne she had me things have changed and maybe it was the stomach but now they have found it safer on the back. And I explained to ehr that I have done my research. I felt as if she was telling me her way was the right way and mine was wrong and that annoyed me, especialyl since I wasnt asking for any advice to begin with. If I choose to put him to sleep on his back, that is my choice and weather you agree with it or not, it doesnt really matter because he is my child. Maybe I am taking it to personally but I cant help it. Then there was an issue of bottle sterilization. In my chat group online I have asked many new mothers if they put bottles in the dishwasher to clean then and everyone one of them said it was fine. So I tell my mom I am just going to wash them in the dishwasher and she was so against it because of the soap and food could get stuck in the nipple and so on. I guess that is true but they are getting clean as well. I guess it annoys me because I feel like she wants me to do what she did when she raised me and I am going to develope my own methods. Plus I have done lots of research and actualyl talked to current moms (not mothers of 25 year olds seeing as many things have changed over the years)Then there was another issue with my cats. We were going to get a crib tent to keep the cats from going in the crib. (They are like $70 though, pretty freaking expensive) That is not the reason we are not going to get one becaise if it is for the babys saftey it doesnt matter how much it is. But after speaking to Melissa (our lamaze teacher) who had cats with her children (she has 4, kids that is) she said there was really no need and that the cats would probably stay away anyway. It was nice to hear a positive side to having cats with childiren. Everyone is under the impression that they are going to smother the baby and kill him so of course it is going to make you paranoid. But to hear someone being positive is a good ting, especially since I love my kitties and dont want to get rid of them. THe truth is, no one knows how the cats are going to react so the only thing we can do it make sure we are carful and watch them. So again my mom didnt liek to hear that we werent going to get the crib tent, but oh well. We arent stupid and of course we are going to watch them and keep the door closed when the baby is sleeping.So I said something to her like "I appreciate the advice but I am not really asking for any" and what she heard was somehting more like "leave me alone, I dont care what you have to say" I tried to explain to her that was nt the case but she is sensitive and she asked me if I could be alittle nicer to her when I say things. Ok maybe I could be nicer but at the same point I am 10 months preggo, my hormones are all over the place, my patience are shot and I have little to no tolerance for anyone at this point so she, being a mother herself, should know this and not take it personal.




YES IM STILL FUKCING HERE!!
Jul. 27th, 2006 09:33 ammood: aggravated
So I am due in 10 days (August 6) and everyday I come into work this is what I have to hear from everyone "So your still here huh" or "so you havent had the baby yet" Well what the fuck does it look like, YES IM STILL HERE and NO BABY YET!!It is really starting to get on my fucking nerves. So in response to these annoying fucking comments I say "Im not due for another week and a half" Hopefully they get what I am really trying to say which is "yeah im not due for another week and a half so STOP ASKING ME EVERY FUCKING DAY" But I think that is highly unlikely.Then sometimes I get "do you knwo you only have x amount of days left?" No really, I had no clue, thatnks for letting me know. I mean what kind of stupid questions are these?I swear on of these days I am going to snap, hopefulyl I have the baby before that happens




Everyones questions answered
Jul. 24th, 2006 09:07 am
I know I only have 2 more weeks left (hopefully) before Noah is here but everyone has just been getting on my nerves with all the same questions. Everyone wants to knwo how I am feeling, but what they really mean is "when are you going to have this baby?" I feel like crap incase anyone cares, but I am going to answer everyones questions once and for all. Here are the most popular...When is your due date?For the millionth time I am still due August 6, it has been the same day since the first time you asked me back in Decemeber.Do they know when the baby is going to come?No they dont so stop asking.How are you feeling?Im 9 months pregnant, I am carrying around a bowling ball, I have a head pushing between my legs putting pressure on my bladder, I have to pee every 2 freaking seconds, my back is in excruciating pain, and I cant sleep, HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL?.Are you getting excited?No I am getting annoyed at all these same questions I have been hearing for the last 9 months. Of course I am excited.So you are dialated so he must be coming soon right?How the hell should I know, he will get here when he gets here, LEAVE ME ALONE!Oh and these comments are the best...."Oh my god, you're HUGE" well duh and thanks for pointing it out and making me feel worse then I already do" you are ready to pop huh, because it looks like it" well again THANKSASS HOLE i get it " you are the cutest pregnant girl ever" well isnt that just dandy I dont care" You're all belly" great!"You looked liek you dropped" again, great!" have lots of sex" NO! and dont tell me that, its weird, and difficult"I cant wait till the baby comes so we can hang out" Just because I am pregnant doesnt mean I cant do anything. A true friend doesnt just come around when I can drink. If you didnt hang out with me through the whole pregnany, why would I want to still hang out with you now.Maybe I am just being a bitch but I am tired, cranky, sick of everyones comments and TIRED OF BEING PREGNANT!Im also sick of wearing t he same freaking clothes all the damn time because I am too damn big to fit into anyhting else. And I am due soon so I am not going to spend more money on clothes that i will wear only a couple times.Plus, even though I am pregnant doesnt mean I have nothing else to talk about except for me being pregnant. I actually DONT tlk about it all the time.And I dont care what your brothers girlfriends mothers aunt did LEAVE ME ALONE.. its my choice to get an epidural or not, or to have a doula, or not get a crib tent so my cats wont bother the baby, or breast feed, or anything else. Im happy you did it. Im happy your sister lost all 50 lbs in a month BUT EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.. now its a different story if i ask you but stop just telling me shit.




Confused
Jul. 24th, 2006 07:32 am
why is it that people who claim to be such good friends with you, instead of calling YOU directly, they call your boyfriend to ask how you are doing? Or only show intrest in hanging out with you when it involes drinking?




Lucas is here!!
Jul. 23rd, 2006 07:34 am
So Michelle's due date was yesterday and thats exactally when she had the baby. Lucas Gator Hastings was born July 22 at around 3:30 am and weighed clsoe to 8 pounds. It has been so much fun going through this pregnancy together with her and Tim. Everyone thought she was going to be late because she wasnt feeling any pain and wasnt even dialated but she ws right on time. Everyone thought I was going to go before her but I will probabably be the one who is late, lol.Me and mike went to see her and Tim in the hospital yesterday. I have never been around a new born before, he was soo cute and tiny and kinda looked like alittle chicken. But Tim and the boys kept saying he looked like a little mexican, lol.She had to have a c-section because she said she pushed for 3 hours and he didnt move at all!! Oh my god, that doesnt sound like fun. I am geting excited, nervous, scared, anxios. I cant wait till our little boy is here too. I really hope that we can raise the boys together. We have gotten close over the pregnancy and it is really nice to have someone to share in all the same things I am going through as well.





It gets worse as the days go by
Jul. 13th, 2006 10:58 am
Not only do I feel like shit - back pain, hip pain, babys head pushing on my bladder, un-plucked eyebrows, clothes too tight, that start of contractions, but now, on top of all that I have fucking hemoroids!!! Not to mention with all the discomfort and pressure down there, I am walking like I got rammed in the ass last night!I am just so sick of everyhting and everyone. You can only hear "how are you feeling?" so many times before you want to bite someones head off. Im fucking 9 months pregnant, how the fuck do you think I am feeling? I have a small head pushing on my bladder every second of the day making me feel like I am going to piss out a river everytime I go to the bathroom. My ass hurts and I want to go home!!



L&D Round 2
July 8, 2006
So I spent my second night in L&D last night (friday). I got home from work, went on the computer to check my mail and was going to get ready to go out with Kim to a candle party when I started to have stabbing like pains in my side, kind of like the ones when you are ovulating or have really bad gas.I called my Gyn and they told me to take some mylanta - yuck! wait a couple of hours, then see how I felt. I also had to urge to pee every 2 seconds...literally. I felt like I was going to piss my pants, then I go to the bathroom and only a little came out, it was so frustrating and kind of felt like a urinary track infection. I figured maybe the baby's head was moving down and really sitting on my bladder now. At this point I knew I wasnt going anywhere.So after alittle bit the pain was still there so I called back and left a message on the answering service for my doc to call me back. She called back within minutes and told me to go over to the hospital so they could check me. Mike was out at a friends house and I told him I would just go alone since I didnt think it was anyhting to worry about. But then as I was leaving I was thinking "Oh my god, I hope this isnt it yet, I dont even have a bag packed."Well I get to L&D and they hook me up to the monitors and determine I am having contractions. Then one of the docs comes in and checks me and says I am 1 cm, 50% effaced and -1 station (which for all of you who arent up on the baby lingo really doesnt tell me anything except for the fact that the process has started)- I could walk around at 1 cm for weeks though. Then they hook me up to an IV to rehydrate me thinking that is why I am having contractions. Well after about 45 mins of that I am still having contractions so I wasn't dehydrated. They said they could be braxton hicks or the real ones, they really didnt know. Then they gave me some ambien and told me to go home and get some sleep and if anyhting changes (pain gets worse, bleeding, anyhting weird) to call them. So thats what I did, went home and tried to get some sleep (except I am a space cadet and forgot the damn pill at the hospital) Everyone keeps telling me they think I am going to go ealry (what they are basing this on I dont know) but it sure seems like I am. Me and mike definatley HAVE to pack our hospital bag tonight so we are prepared.The pain has gone away but they urge to pee is ridiculous, I dont know how I am going to make it another 4 weeks. I am so tired of being pregnant, I want Noah here already!




Let down again
July 5, 2006 / 9:58am
So this weekend I was off 4 days for the holiday and boy was it a crazy weekend...crazy in a bad way though. Me and Mike were fighting because basically we have different ideas of being productive where I want things done when I want and he is more laid back with them. My mom was supposed to come up Monday, we were going to get stuff done in the babys room so it would be finihsed and she was bascially going to help me oraganize (seeing as she is good at that) plus keep me company since I was off. Mike was suposed to work. Well lets just say that none of that happened.I woke up monday to find Mike still sleeping on the couch (from an argument the night before) and just flipped out on him because he wasnt at work and had overslept. There is only a few more weeks till the baby is due and I am supper stressed about money and we cant afford for him to take a day off work. But anyway I was planning on my mom coming up so I figured it would be good because it would help take my mind off things.Well I called her when i woke up like she had asked and expected her to be on the train but she was sleeping. She had also everslept and missed her train and said she was getting up and was going to call me when she was about to catch the next train so I knew when to pick her up. Well that was at 9:30 and by 1:00 I still hadnt heard from her, she wasnt answering her phone, so I figured it was safe to say she wasnt coming. Finally a little after 1 she answered her phone and was all groggy as she apologized for falling back to slepp....WTF! I mean does anyone know how to keep plans or what?"Are you mad at me?" she asked.....Of course I am, what kind of stupid question is that?I was pissed off the day before and most of the early morning because of me and Mike and was counting on her coming up to help me do what he didnt help me do, and then I get let down as usual. Not a good combo for a 9 month pregnant women to have to deal with. I am happy I didnt wait for her top do what I needed to do.Now, lets back this up a couple of days...Earlier in the week we (me and my mom) were talking and she asked me if she could watch the baby for a couple days after I go back to work. I would love for that to happen but have my reservations about actually letting that go on, and I think after what I mentioned earlier there is good right for me to feel like that.So today she called me to aplogize and I told her because of what happeend monday, that is why I dont feel comfortable letting her watch the baby...how can I relie on her? Not only did she over sleep but she also said she didnt have money for the train. So what am I suposed to do when I am expecting her to watch him on tues but she cant come up because she has no money or she oversleeps? Me and mike cant afford to be taking days off work, and I cant afford the stress of wondering "is she going to come up this time" Its a real shame but I really cant help but think otherwise based on her actions.I told he how I felt and she was upset but oh well. If she REALLY wants to help like she says she does, she needs to prove to me that I can relie on her, and honeslty that is not going to happen in a couple weeks, maybe not even a couple months. I knwo she has good intentions but I need something that is steady and that I dont have to worry about.




Thank god I am not counting on you
June 30, 2006 / 10:00 am
So last week me and my cousin were talking about getting together so she could see me since her and bascially my moms whole side of the family didnt come to my baby shower. I told her last weekend (25th) would be good and she said she was going to call the fam and see if that was good for everyone. She also offered to do it at her house but I thought that would be too much for me, plus why should I have to shlep over there? We had the party already, you can come to my house if you want to see me. I shouldnt have have to go to you(especially when you make excuses all the time)Anyway, I left her 2 messages asking her what was going on with the weekend plans and if she could get back to me so I knew what I was doing....no response. So Yesterday (almost a week later) she returns my phone calls and is like "so when are we going to get together for your shower?" An I was like "I was under the impression that we were doing it last weekend, thats how we left off" "no we couldnt because my girls had graduation, plus no one got back to me so I just ddint call you back" WTF kind of answer is that? Plus you didnt knwo this when we made plans originally?Its fucking ridiculous!So I was just like "We are pretty booked for the next couple weekends (which is true) so I dont knwo when we are going to do this" I am due in 5 weeks, what does she plan on waiting till the dy before I go into labor to get together? I am not going out of my way to see them because like I said, I am pregnant, you shuold make time to come see me. I mean at least send me a freaking card. I am not expecting any gitfs from them anyway but a fucking card would be nice.And we are supposed to let her watch our son for day-care when he is born, how the hell can I rely on her? We are definatley reconsidering this.




Almost done!!
June 26, 2006 / 1:44pm
Well I have been going nuts lately, stressing abouttgeting the nursery set up, returning things, and trying to make sure everhyitng is "just right" I kept walking by the babys room and gwetting disgusted because gifts from the shwoer were everyhwere, the crib wasnt set up and we didnt even have the changing table yet. (Yes I knwo we just had the shower and things take time but I am so damn impatient, plus I am too freaking tired to do anyhting when i come home from work)So anyway, this weekend we got ALOT acomplished, it was great. Me and Mike put the stroller together thurs night since we didnt go to lamaze. Gina came over on Sat and helped me wash ALL the clothes (3 huge laudry bags full), fold them and put them away. We also set up the closet. The seemed liek it took forever! Mike went to target while we were folding to get the changing table, return some items and get more hangers for the closet. Then he came home, we had dinner and we put the changing table together...boy was that a bitch! The pieces didnt quite fit tightly and Mike kept getting aggrivated. i tried telling him that it would proabnly come together fine at the end, but he kept saying it ws apiece of shit. But like I though, once we were finished everything was great and sturdy. I think sometiems they try and complicate things with too many instructions.Sunday we got up early and made our rounds at Target, Walmart and Babies R Us to return, exchange and buy some things. Then we came home and started working on cleanng the house and getting the babys roomr eady. Mike put the crib together and it was actually pretty easy. I cleaned up, ironed the curtains, set up the changing table and went food shopping. We said we were going to stop at 6 which was a great idea because I would have worked all night. So now that the big pieces are put togetehr everything else will fall into place.Im so excited!! Everyhting is becoming more "real" now that the nursery is taking shape....only 6 more weeks till little Talan/Noah is here!!




A little scare
June 21, 2006 / 2:08pm
Well today started off ok. My boss has been on vacation for the past 2 weeks and things have been pretty hectic at work and I have had to responsbity of overseeing everhyting!I had my checkup yesterday (Tues) and weighed in 170 lbs!! Im getting up there. I was telling my doctor that I had slight period like cramps and she said if I had mroe then 6 an hour to give her a call. So I went home and thought nothng of it. Today while at work I was having more of these cramps and it wasnt like I could count how mant I was having, but more of a constant feeling. I called her and she told me to come in, so I did. I called Mike and he meet me at the doctors office. They hooked me up to one of those fetal monitors to monitor the baby and my uterus and said that I was definaltey having more then 6 an hour. She said I needed to go to the hospital to get hydrated and I wasnt drinking enough water which was causing my uterus to contract...who knew?We went over to Labor and Delivery and they hooked me up to one of their monitors and an IV. The damn nurse didnt know how to use a needle because it hurt like hell when she stuck me. There was this woman next to us who was getting ready to have a c-section and she was moaning in pain, cursing at her husband, lol I couldnt help but laugh because I knew that was going to be me and Mike soon (hopefully minus the c-section)After that bag was done my doc came in and said I was ok to go home and I was so relived. She said seeing as I was onyl 33 weeks it would not be a good idea for me to have this baby now and if that was the case they would try and stop it. But if it happeend after 35 weeks it would be ok. I wonder if I am going to go early.I was so happy to be out of there. I got to the doctors at 2:30 and we ddint leave L&D till 6.I am making a much more conscience effort to drink lots of water. If he came earyl I guess that would be ok, as long as he is healthy.



June flowers bring Baby Showers
June 19, 2006 / 11:18am
We had the baby shower this past saturday (June 17) at Chucks Steakhouse. It was so nice. I was upset in the begining because I felt liek some of my family didnt really care enough to come and were making lame excuses (which they were) But I am so happy they didnt come now because the people who were there were the really important ones. They were there because they wanted to be.

Gina did a great job decorating with the cute little baby booties and ballons and flowers on each table. My mom got there early and was helping set up. She was great and I am so glad there she was there. It seemed liek everyone got along and I was very happy for that.Its kind of weird when you are at a party and you are the center of attention, at least for me it is. I didnt want anyone to be left out so I made sure I tried to talk to everyone. It was nice though being the main focus. All my friends where there and even though Kristy and Barb were late (thanks to barbara of course, lol)they made it.

My parents got to meet some of my friends they hear me talk about plus they got to see jeanette, kristy and barbara who they havent seen in ages.Mike was so cute, he came by towards the end to hangout with my dad who was sitting outside by himself (he is a bit anti-social and all the estrogen in the room probably scared him) We got the diaper bag he wanted so he was excited and even posed for a cute pic with it.I also got to meet his friend Dana which was nice seeing as he goes to see her on christmas eve, now I knwo who she is. It was such a great day and I was sooo happy.

My parents went above and beyond to make it so special for me and mike (more me though, lol)Afterwrds we had some friends come back to the house. At first when Mike had suggested it I was completley against the idea because I thought I was going to be too tired, but it was nice to come back and hang out and chat some more. I was actually up pretty late because my mind was racing and I couldnt sleep.Now we have a room full of stuff that we have to put away, and 2 HUGE bags of baby clothes to wash.I just cant wait till its all done and put together.

Project for the weekend: assemble crib!



Tired of the bullshit
June 15, 2006 / 9:46am
It really pisses me off when people come up with lame excuses to get out of something 2 days before it is happeening, especially when this is the 4th or 5th time this same person has done it.Then they are like "I miss you we have to get together" Give me a break.

As I am getting older and things in my life are changing, I dont have time for those people who only come around when it is convientent for them. If you want to see me, YOU make the effort because I am not doing it anymore.

And all these stupid myspace comments like "I love ya, miss ya, cant wait to see ya, how is the baby" are all bullshit. If you are really an important part of someones life you talk to them in PERSON not just on a stupid computer, I mean how impersonal is that?



Family sucks
June 12, 2006 / 10:35am
I am having my baby shower this saturday and am kind of hurt by my familys reaction towards it.

First off my parents are separtaed and I really dont talk to my moms side that often (they once made a comment that they feel like they were invited to my engagement party "just for he gift" and they ddint send one anyway) I invited some people from my moms side which was a mistake. My cousin has her daughters recital to go to. Her mother (my aunt) has knee problems and doesnt knwo if she can make it, but when I told my cousin that she said that, she said she was going with her to the recital (so we cought them in a lie). My other aunt and cousin were only going if my aunt comes (yet they all drive their own cars) and my other cousins and aunt arent coming at all.My dads side of the family moved to florida a couple years ago so that counts them out. Mikes family I guess could care less because they didnt even rsvp and we had to call them to see if they were coming. But both his friends, one I never even meet, responded right away are both coming.

So the only people coming are my stepmothers family and my friends...how fucked up is that? Me and Mikes own family arent even coming but my step-family (who treats more like a part of my family then my own does) and our friends are the ones coming. Mikes mom didnt even have the decentcy to rsvp...what the fuck!

It just goes to show you who really cares about you. Its funny too because some of my friends I wasnt going to invite because my parents said I had to keep it to a certain number, so i was giong to leave them out to invite family....I am SO glad that I included them. There were some people from work I wanted to invite also but I couldnt because there was no room.....I wish I invited them because they are more important to me.

Then my cousin says we should come over her house to have dinner and exchange gifts but what she really wants to do is have a little party for me there so she looks like the big shot who threw me a party. Its fucking ridiculous. So I Am giong to tell her if she wants to see me she is more then welcome to come to my house...why should I have to drive all the way there 8 months pregannt and have to cart the shit back to my house.

Plus there are still so many things left on my regisrty I am starting to get nervous. I still need alot of the big items and I am scared alot of people are going to get my clothes (because it is cheaper and easier) and I am going to go broke getting what i really need.....UGH!!

Note to self....when me and mike get married, have the babys first birthday, communion, and all that other fun stuff....I am NOT inviting my family because my friends are more like family. The come because they WANT to, not because they feel OBLIGATED to.




31 weeks
June 3, 2006 / 9:10am
So I had another check up today and this time I actually lost a pound. I now weigh 165lbs. The said everyhting was ok, checked my blood pressure, listened to the babies heartbeat and all that fun stuff. Today we are going to get the piant for the babies room and start painting it. Not much more to say...talk to you soon:)




Our Birthplan
June 2, 2006 / 2:00pm
Our wishes for Childbirth - Loni Dorothy Aquilia & Michael Erwin Adams

Due Date: August 6, 2006
Patient of Patricia Whitcombe
Scheduled to deliver at Danbury Hospital.



June 2, 2006

Dear Dr. Whitcombe and staff,

We look forward to sharing our upcoming birth with you. We have created the following birth plan to help you understand my preferences for my upcoming labor and delivery. I understand that in certain circumstances these guidelines may not be followed, but it is my hope that you will assist me in making this the experience I hope for. If you have any questions or suggestions, please let me know.


Sincerely,
Loni Aquilia

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Labor
I would like to be free to walk around during labor.
I wish to be able to move around and change position at will throughout labor
I would like to be able to have fluids by mouth throughout the first stage of labor.
I will be bringing my own music to play during labor.
I would like the environment to be kept as quiet as possible.
I would like the lights in the room to be kept low during my labor.
I would prefer to keep the number of vaginal exams to a minimum.
I do not want an IV unless I become dehydrated.
I will bringing candles from home

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Monitoring
I do not want an internal monitor unless my son has shown some sign of distress.

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Labor Augmentation/Induction
If labor is not progressing, I would like to have the amniotic membrane ruptured before other methods are used to augment labor.

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Anesthesia/Pain Medication
Before considering an epidural, and if the situation warrants, I would like to try an injection of narcotic pain relief (Nubain, Demerol, Stadol or similar).
I would like to have a standard epidural.

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Cesarean
Unless absolutely necessary, I would like to avoid a Cesarean.
If a Cesarean delivery is indicated, I would like to be fully informed and to participate in the decision-making process.
I would like Mike present at all times if my son requires a Cesarean delivery.
If my son is not in distress, my son should be given to (blank) immediately after birth.

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Episiotomy
I would prefer not to have an episiotomy unless absolutely required for the baby's safety.
I would appreciate guidance in when to push and when to stop pushing so the perineum can stretch.
If possible, I would like to use perineal massage to help avoid the need for an episiotomy.

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Delivery
I would like to be allowed to choose the position in which I give birth, including squatting.
I would like Mike and/or nurses to support me and my legs as necessary during the pushing stage.
I would like a mirror available so I can see my son's head when it crowns.
I would appreciate having the room lights turned low for the actual delivery.
I would appreciate having the room as quiet as possible when my son is born.
I would like to have my son placed on my stomach/chest immediately after delivery.

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Immediately After Delivery
I would like to have Mike cut the cord.
I would like to hold my son while I deliver the placenta and any tissue repairs are made.
I would like to hold my son for at least fifteen minutes before (he/she) is photographed, examined, etc.
I would like to have my son evaluated and bathed in my presence.
I plan to keep my son near me following birth and would appreciate if the evaluation of my son can be done with my son on my abdomen, with both of us covered by a warm blanket, unless there is an unusual situation.
If my son must be taken from me to receive medical treatment, Mike or some other person I designate will accompany my son at all times.
I would prefer to hold my son rather than have (him/her) placed under heat lamps.
After the birth, I would prefer to be given a few moments of privacy to urinate on my own before being catheterized.

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Postpartum
I would like a private room, if available.
I would like my son with me during the day but in the nursery at night.

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Breastfeeding
I would like more information about breastfeeding.
My son can be given a bottle but I do not want him given glucose water or plain water

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Circumcision
I would like my son to be circumcised before we check out of the hospital.

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Photo/Video
I would like to take still photographs during labor and the birth.
I would like to make a videorecording of labor and/or the birth.

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Other
I would prefer that no students, interns, residents or non-essential personnel be present during my labor or the birth.
My support people are My mom, Dad, Stepmom and Kristy and I would like them present after I deliver the baby
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