My exciting plans for TODDLER FREE evening include......

a trip to the GROCERY STORE!!  Waahooooo!

I am seriously VERY excited about this too!  Mike is in Maine till tomorrow and my parents are watching Noah.  What is a girl to do with the house to herself you ask?  

SHOP!  

And not for some cute outfits or neat new electronics my friends, but for food.  

Ah, I cant wait to browse the isles of the supermarket without a 2 year old whining in my ear for everything under the sun.  No tantrums to avoid or dirty looks from fellow shoppers as my kid throws himself on the floor or tries to manhandle all the fresh baked bread.  I will actually be able to comparison shop and try to find the best deal on chop meat, stick to my list and calculate how much I have spent so I don't go over my budget without incurring sugar withdrawal, checkout line screaming.

I read this article the other day about why people with kids have NO time.  It said "its needing 45 mins to do what takes others 15" and it is soooo true. Tonight, all though it will probably take me longer then 15 mins...it will be stress free.

I might even treat myself to a glass of wine when I get home!

Two.....Awww......Two!

2 year olds can certainly drive you up the wall and make you wonder what the hell you were thinking when you decided to have kids, but they can also be really great!

Last night I came home to dinner already made (Mike had to be in at 1am, so he made dinner for us) so Noah and I ate  right away.  After a long day of work/school we were both famished.  He was feeling under the weather and had a temperature at school so I plopped him in front of his favorite bald headed friend Caillou and cleaned up.  After that I joined him on the couch because I was pooped too.  After 2 rounds of Caillou I couldn't take it anymore and decided to see what was on ABC Family.  Noah is VERY reluctant to watch anything other then baldy and Barney and sometimes Animal Planet but I figured since he had his fix for the night, he might be more open to something else....and he was!

Aladdin was on so I layed down on the couch  to watch it.  Noah snuggled right up next to me (which is odd for him because he is usually in a trance when he watches tv and doesn't want anyone touching him or bothering him).  It was so nice to lay there and watch tv together.  This has been something I have wanted to do with him forever and finally I can. After it was over it was time to go to bed so we read a book and I tucked him in.  As I was walking out, blowing him a kiss and getting ready to shut off the lights, he looks at me and goes "goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite."

Aww...my heart melted!

Taking time to smell the flowers

The past week or so has been REALLY stressful with Noah and I have been pulling my hair out.  But this weekend was the complete opposite. We had a great time and did absolutely NOTHING...which was even better!!  I always schedule so much for us to do to keep him (and myself) entertained and sane.  Sometimes though I think it is too much and actually puts him in a crabby mood.  I mean what toddler likes to be dragged from store to store?  Sometimes I NEED to run errands and he has to come along, but sometimes I guess they can wait.

We stayed home Saturday, plus it was raining cats and dogs and I didn't feel like going out.  So we stayed in our pj's all day, played, watched TV and I even got my curio set up with all my pictures and knickknacks.  Did I ever mention how I HATE unpacking?  There is so much shit and we haven't hung shelves yet so some of them have nowhere to go except for on the floor.  We still have to hang curtains too but cant do that till we get a ladder because our damn ceilings are 15ft high! Not a great recipe for 2 scaredy cats over here who are afraid of heights.  Well let me rephrase, I don't mind heights if I am contained in something, but standing on a wobbly ladder...yeah, not my idea of fun!  Mike actually stood up on the window sill to nail some curtains up, so he is far braver then me, but after realizing the window sill was loose he vowed not to go back up....And I don't blame him.  Fat chance at me being able to catch him!

So any way, Noah and I played, made forts out of blankets and just had a good time.  I realized what I have been missing out on because I was too busy getting aggravated with him or yelling at him.  I was reading something on cafemom that said kids act up to get attention and that I might not have been giving him enough of the positive kind.  So even though I was yelling at him all the time, in their eyes, negative attention is still attention....make sense?  As a parent sometimes you take your kids for granted.  Seeing as he is older I know he can play by himself while I get some things done, but he is MUCH happier doing it if I have taken 20-30 mins totally devoted to him.  In the end, we were both happy.

He still had a few time-outs though.  I swear, my kid must be one of the very few that LIKE them...yes, he LIKES them.  I will put him on his time-out chair in the kitchen and he just sits and talks to himself, or he gets up, waits till I come over and sits back down before I can push him down to make him sit. Its like a game and the more I come over and try and make him sit without succeeding, the more entertained he gets.  So what do I do, let him stand when he should be sitting? Ignore him?
I am so confused!  And forget about putting him in is bedroom, he will go play.....ahhh!

Embaressing Toddler Act #504

Just when I thought I have been as embarrassed as I can get with Noah, he raised the bar even higher today. While at the checkout line at Stop and Shop, he looks at the cashier and says "I did poopy, I got poop in my pants." The cashier, who was still in high school just looked at him, the guy behind me laughed and my face turned bright red as I tried to pay as fast I could and high tail it out of there.

I swear, he lives to embarrass me!

If you ever hear a kid screaming how he pooped his pants (which ended being a false alarm) You might find me nearby hiding behind some display care.

Two...Arghhh....Two!!

If you have talked to me recently, you will know that I am losing my mind with a certain person living in my house. He is very demanding, pitches a fit if he doesn't get what he wants and his voice can be louder then a large crowd at times. He wears diapers and is 2....YES 2! And driving me nuts with all the wonderful things 2 years old do...including daily tantrums, the love of the word NO and hitting.

The other day as I was changing Noah, he was lying down and I was trying to wrangle a sock onto his foot. He loves to kick and jump all over the place making if difficult for me and kicked me right in the face. I lost it and smacked his leg and said "We don't hit". He looked at me, startled and started to cry. I felt like the biggest pile of crap after that especially when he said, as he was sorbing, "I sorry Mommy" I picked him up and gave him a big hug and told him I was sorry. Then he said "you ok Mommy?" More guilt starts to set in as I think to myself, I should be asking him if he is ok. This really bothered me and still does. I didn't hit him out of love but out of anger that he kicked me. It was a knee jerk reaction and nothing something I planned to do. When it happened I think we were both in shock.

I am def not happy with the way I reacted or the way I let him push my buttons. I have to step back sometimes and say to myself, "He is only 2" Sometimes I think I expect more from him that a 2 year old can control. He is so advanced in so many ways but at the same time, he is 2...only 2. I know he did not do that intentionally or maliciously but at the same time, it really aggravated me. I would also like to say, I do not spank Noah. I don't agree with it and think it gives kids the wrong message. You hit me, so I hit you back and expect you to respect me?

I lost my cool. That's it.

I try and ignore him when he whines and redirect him but sometimes enough is enough. I swear, and I am not kidding, from the time we left the house this morning to the time we got to school, he must have whined about 5 different things. And most of those are out of my control....like the fact that he wants to see a bus or a police car. Its not like I have a magic remote that will make them appear. I tell him, "maybe we will see one" or "we are going this way" (as opposed to the way HE wants) But he does not understand and continues to say it over and over and over again. It is enough to drive a sane person crazy! I feel like I am getting to the point to where I don't want to take him out of the house to go to the supermarket or department store for fear of a meltdown....his and mine.

He doesn't want to sit in the cart, cries and screams, runs away from me if I let him loose....its crazy. Plus I get all the dirty looks from people in the store, as if they are thinking "look at this lady who cant control her kid" Maybe I will shop on-line and wait a few more years to go out on public with the little hellion.

Sometimes I think to myself....."Can he ever be happy and just go with the flow?"

Life was so much easier when they didn't have their own opinion.

This is why boys need mothers

This is for those mother's

of boys, sisters of boys, and boys that have grown older. And anyone else

who needs a laugh.

Why boys need parents...

And you also find out interesting

things when you have sons, like...

1.) A king size waterbed

holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray

on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice

is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash

over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound

Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,

however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a

20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw

baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a

bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A

ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows

(even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet

flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with

Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can

start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they

can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will

pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11) Play dough and microwave

should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O

you put in a swimming pool,you

still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not

like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB

& J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not

make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks

make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT

want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven

before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department

inAustin,TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the

washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make

cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice

their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass

this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read

this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

What did he say?

I was driving to work this morning and out of the blue Noah says, "I want a baby sister"

Do you think he is trying to tell me something?

The Joys of Toddlerhood

I was reading a blog the other day about things they don't tell you when you are pregnant, but where is the one about all the fun and exciting things about toddlers? (By the way...I am being sarcastic.)  Don't get me wrong, now that Noah is two, I never realized I could love him more and more each day.  He constantly does things to amaze me and his vocabulary is growing and maturing on a daily basis.  I can have a conversation with him and he tells me what he does and DOES NOT like.

When we go to the supermarket, I don't even have to make a list anymore.  I tell him what we are getting and he repeats it back to me, over and over again.  It definitely proves to be helpful.  He also repeats things I don't want him to but I am slowly learning to curb my language. Just because you have a kid, doesn't mean your potty mouth goes away overnight.  For me, it is something I have to be very aware of on a daily basis.  All I need is for him to go to school and say "Mrs Nicole, I am a pecker"......yeah....that would not be good.  One day at a time though....right?

He sings songs and teaches me some new ones and ones I forgot.  He is gentle with the kitties and loves to chase them around.  He is just so sweat and loveable.

Like how he always wants to do or go where we are going.  "Can I come too" he asks.  "If course I can" he then responds to himself.

The way he sticks his finger in the brownie, licks it and says "That's delicious"

The way he puts his hands on my face and tells me I am beutiful....my heart just wants to melt.

The way he says hello to everyone in the supermarket and tells them to have a nice day.

But then there are the things that no one prepares you for till you have your own kid.  The things that they would never write in books for fear no one would procreate.  And the embarrassment you have never felt till you had a 2 year old little monster to call your own.....

Like the way he throws himself on the floor, in the middle of the deli department in Big Y, when you yell at him to stop squishing the bread.  Then he tries to crawl away from you and you continue to know you are losing this one, only to get dirty looks from the hoitty toity people waiting for their coldcuts.

Or when you are waiting for the lady in Walmart to help you and you tell your sweet, innocent youngster "We have to wait for the lady" and he shouts out "No, that's a man"......yeah I wanted to hide my head under a rock after that one.

Or how we have to drag him in the house (literally) when he insists that he be the one who shuts the door, but is so overtired and has a load of crap in his pants.

Or how he is so determined to do everything by himself, so when you try and help him, he throws a fit, screams bloody murder and shouts "DO BY SELF!!!"

Or how the sweet innocent child you gave life to and have watch grow and develop before your eyes, hits you upside you head with a truck and laughs when you get mad.  It takes all of my patience and control to not spank him.  (Which by the way, I do not do.  What kind of message is that to send to a kid anyway?  You hit me which is not okay, so I am going to hit you?)

Or how he will only eat mac and cheese, pizza and spaghetti and meatballs.  Well, they do warn about picky eating but when it actually happens it is SO frustrating.  The once veggie lover, who would devour a whole can of peas will now look at anything green and say "I don't like that"  GRRR!

8am this morning:
Noah: I want chicken nuggets and pizza
Me: We can have that for dinner.
Noah: I want chicken nuggets and pizza
Me: We can have that for dinner.
Noah: I want  ice cream
Me: after dinner
Noah: I want  ice cream
Me: After dinner
Noah: something that sounds like a whine followed by crying
Me :Turn my radio up to drown out whining toddler.