Operation Get Rid of Muffin Top Part 2

I know you are probably wondering where the part 1 is, and the answer is simple. I never posted a part 1. But this is my second week of boot camp classes and my attempt to get in better shape and hopefully in the process, loose a few pounds.

A few things I have learned about myself since starting these classes are:
I have no balance.
I am pretty damn weak.
I need to get actual running sneakers since my feet hurt from exercising.
My knee likes to give out with too much activity.
I am sooooo out of shape.
I hate to sweat.
I complain alot.
I am in a lot of pain and very sore but it is all worth it.

I have always told myself I need to get in shape and work out, made an attempt and then gave up because its too hard. This time I feel like its different. Last week I had class on a Tuesday and then went jogging/walking Thursday. I know its only 2 days but its 2 days more then I have done in a long time. I am not going to sit here and say I am going to work out everyday because that would be a lie. And frankly some days I am just too damn tired and unmotivated from working all day, making dinner, playing with Noah, doing bath and book with him and putting him to bed that all I want to do is relax myself.

Last week our class was held outside because it was nice and I thought I was going to pass out. Our instructor asked us when the last time we did any kind of cardio was. My answer was "Carmel High School 2000" I have asthma and I smoke. Yeah, not a good combination and I know it, but I never really cared. My asthma is pretty much exercised induced and I didn't exercise so it wasn't a big deal to me. Now that I am being more active, it is a big deal. I know I could stop if I wanted to seeing as I did when I was pregnant, but I didn't want to. After our intense class last week I knew A) I needed to have my inhaler filled and B) I needed to stop smoking. I care now, much more then I ever did. I need to be healthy for me. I am not going to say I will never smoke again, but it is kind of counter productive to do something that is basically killing me and work out which is making me healthier. As our workout progressed I kept saying to myself "this sucks, I am never doing this again, its too hard and so on" By the time we were done, I was so happy and proud that I pushed myself to finish and I was excited for the next time.

Yesterday our class wasn't focused on so much on cardio as it was strength training. I was easier in a way, but harder at the same time. And today I am in sooooo much pain from it. But the good news for me is that it makes me want to work at it that much more. I don't like being weak and I want to build my body up. The thought of going running tomorrow makes me want to cringe, but I know it will be good in the long run.

I am really starting to focus on me and what makes me happy. And the truth is, I don't really know what makes me happy but hopefully this journey will prove to be insightful in so many ways. All I know is that I am excited to be trying new things, getting out of my comfort zone and being me.