Two...Arghhh....Two!!

If you have talked to me recently, you will know that I am losing my mind with a certain person living in my house. He is very demanding, pitches a fit if he doesn't get what he wants and his voice can be louder then a large crowd at times. He wears diapers and is 2....YES 2! And driving me nuts with all the wonderful things 2 years old do...including daily tantrums, the love of the word NO and hitting.

The other day as I was changing Noah, he was lying down and I was trying to wrangle a sock onto his foot. He loves to kick and jump all over the place making if difficult for me and kicked me right in the face. I lost it and smacked his leg and said "We don't hit". He looked at me, startled and started to cry. I felt like the biggest pile of crap after that especially when he said, as he was sorbing, "I sorry Mommy" I picked him up and gave him a big hug and told him I was sorry. Then he said "you ok Mommy?" More guilt starts to set in as I think to myself, I should be asking him if he is ok. This really bothered me and still does. I didn't hit him out of love but out of anger that he kicked me. It was a knee jerk reaction and nothing something I planned to do. When it happened I think we were both in shock.

I am def not happy with the way I reacted or the way I let him push my buttons. I have to step back sometimes and say to myself, "He is only 2" Sometimes I think I expect more from him that a 2 year old can control. He is so advanced in so many ways but at the same time, he is 2...only 2. I know he did not do that intentionally or maliciously but at the same time, it really aggravated me. I would also like to say, I do not spank Noah. I don't agree with it and think it gives kids the wrong message. You hit me, so I hit you back and expect you to respect me?

I lost my cool. That's it.

I try and ignore him when he whines and redirect him but sometimes enough is enough. I swear, and I am not kidding, from the time we left the house this morning to the time we got to school, he must have whined about 5 different things. And most of those are out of my control....like the fact that he wants to see a bus or a police car. Its not like I have a magic remote that will make them appear. I tell him, "maybe we will see one" or "we are going this way" (as opposed to the way HE wants) But he does not understand and continues to say it over and over and over again. It is enough to drive a sane person crazy! I feel like I am getting to the point to where I don't want to take him out of the house to go to the supermarket or department store for fear of a meltdown....his and mine.

He doesn't want to sit in the cart, cries and screams, runs away from me if I let him loose....its crazy. Plus I get all the dirty looks from people in the store, as if they are thinking "look at this lady who cant control her kid" Maybe I will shop on-line and wait a few more years to go out on public with the little hellion.

Sometimes I think to myself....."Can he ever be happy and just go with the flow?"

Life was so much easier when they didn't have their own opinion.