Law and Order L.D.A.

Why is it that after having a child, you instantly worry about every and anything possible?  As most people close to me know, I am an avid watcher of Law and Order and CSI (SVU and Las Vegas)  I am addicted to those 2 shows and anything crime related, however I think it has done more harm then good to my mental state.  I used to be so carefree and not worry about anything. I remember when I was in college I used to walk back from the bar alone in the middle of night and never once did a thought of being raped or mugged enter my mind.  Now, there is no way in hell you would catch me doing that, and when I see shows about how these innocent women are killed doing just that, I thank my lucky stars that I was not one of them.  

As Noah is getting older and starting to be more confident doing things away from Mommy, or even thinking about having someone babysit him OTHER then my parents, the thought scares me  to death.  How can I leave my son with anyone other then family?   You hear all these horror stories about little kids getting molested and abused by members of the family, or family friends one has known for years and even has children of their own.  Abusive caregivers, shaken baby syndrome, the list can go one and on.  I trust no one with Noah and can you blame me?  I know it is good to be aware of your surroundings and that it is healthy for me to worry about these things, but sometimes I wonder if I worry to much.

I see children walking to school and think to myself.....I would never let Noah walk to school.  What if someone pulled up beside him and kidnapped him?  I would be devastated. I don't know how parents of missing children go on.....it would kill me.  And these are things I think of on a daily basis.  Like I said, watching all these cop shows definitely does not help (especially SVU because they mainly deal with rapes and abused children cases)  Now I know why my dad was so overprotective  of me.  I thought he was annoying and didn't want me to have any fun.  Now I know he was just being a parent, and although I am grown and have a family of my own, he will continue to worry about me till the day he dies.  That's what parents do.  I understand that now.  I think about if something were to ever happen to Noah, how would I go on?  As morbid as it sounds to ponder death and the unimaginative, I am hoping its normal and that I am not a wack job.  In the 21 months he has been on this planet, he has brought me more joy and love then I could ever imagine, and if I lost that, a part of me would die.